Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, "the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions". And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities – e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.
自律就是自由。你有可能質疑這句話,也有人相信這句話。對很多人而言,自律是一個貶義詞,因為它意味著自由的喪失。事實上,只有自律的人才能擁有真正的自由。
Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life.
自律要求我們按照自己計劃行事,而不是根著沖動走,當然這也要求我們為了人生最重要的事去放棄眼前的小利。
If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:
如果你正在為如何成為一名自律的人兒煩惱,那么請放心,它是可以培養的。
1. Self-Knowledge
Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent Mission Statement Builder on his site.
自我認識
自律就是意味著你去根據自己最好的打算行事,因此第一個前提就是要很好地認識自己。你要清楚地知道怎樣去做有利于你的目標和理想的實現。我建議大家去把自己的目標,理想和追求寫下來。最好能有自己的一個座右銘。這樣你就能更清楚地認識自己。
2. Conscious Awareness
Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren't aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?
As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined – e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.
自覺意識
自律要求你能夠很清楚地區分什么是應該做的什么是不需要做的。如果你想做的事情不需要自律的,那你何必去做呢?也就是說,當你想培養自律的時候,你本身肯定是缺乏這樣意識的。
3. Commitment to Self-Discipline
It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for "just another 5 minutes…" Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.
If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you're going to do – both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, "What gets measured gets improved".
全心投入
僅僅把自己的目標和理想寫下來是遠遠不夠的。你必須由衷地想著去實現它們。不然,當你的腦中在凌晨5點想起來的時候,你會很自然地把它關掉,接著睡下去。如果你很難做到全新投入,那么下一個決心,定一個計劃,根據自己想做的。
4. Courage
Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don't pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.
勇氣
毫無疑問,自律很多時候是很辛苦的差事,很多時候要和自己的情緒,感情和想法對著來。因此,自律的人還要擁有無比的膽量。
5. Internal Coaching
Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: "The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret". Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.
自我對話
自己和自己對話很多時候是不好的,但是如果有一定的控制就不一樣了。當你發現自己開始有放棄的疑問的時候,我建議你與自己對話,鼓勵自己,肯定自己。畢竟只有你自己知道自己的目標和理想。