Making small talk doesn't have to be painful, even if it's with a boss you want to impress or blind date you want to see alot more of! Believe it or not, making small talk can be fun - even for quiet personality types. Making small talk is also an art that can be learned.
"So…how about this weather?" doesn't often lead to stimulating dialogue (but don't hesitate to use it if you're desperate). If you must make small talk about the weather, be specific. Say, "It'sfreezingcold outside – have you ever heard that saying, 'colder than ________' ? Where did that come from, anyway?" might work better, depending on who you're talking to.
Making small talk can be difficult even if you're an extrovert, but it's especially difficult for introverts. Here's how to enjoy making small talk.
How to Make Small Talk: 10 Tips for Starting Conversations With People You Don't Know
1. Keep up with current events.Make small talk about the news, sports, your community, or politics (unless politics is too controversial. On second thought, that can generate some pretty fiery dialogues!)
2. Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory.Ask where it came from, what the significance is, how much it cost (just kidding). Making small talk is about being observant about people you don't know well.
3. Pay attention to what they're saying.When you're making small talk, follow up on phrases; for instance, if they say they're "excellent", ask why – ask where you can get some. If they mention that they're exhausted, follow up on it. When you're making small talk, remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.
4. Share an anecdote about your day.Did you lose your keys or find $10? Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently, or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.
5. Ask what movies or books they've seen or read recently.Someone once asked me that at a party. Admittedly, at first it felt contrived, but then we had a fantastic conversation about the book I was reading! Making small talk is about trying new conversations.
6. Talk about tv.Share your favourite tv shows - whether it's Oprah's revelation of The Secret or the your favorite sitcom. If you're Canadian, Little Mosque on the Prairie might be interesting to discuss! Making small talk about pop culture is easy and fun.
7. Recall your past conversations with the same person.Ask if their son is still ill or how the Mexican holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.
8. Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation.For instance, "How are you?" isn't as effective as "Whatever happened with '__________' you were dealing with?" ('__________' could be a business deal, family problem, or financial investment) Remember that anything is a potential topic of conversation.You can even talk about how uncomfortable you are making small talk – and ask them how they do it.
9. Relax.Enjoy yourself.People are interesting! If you combine these tips for making small talk with sincere interest, you'll embark on a fascinating conversational ride.
10. Let it go.If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You can't connect with everyone, and some conversations simply refuse to take life! Making small talk involves knowing when it's time to move on.
其實(shí),和別人聊天不一定是件痛苦的事,即便對方是你期待能對你留下好印象的老板,抑或是你希望能多見面的相親對象。
信不信由你,和不熟的人聊天也可以變得很有趣,即便是對性格比較安靜的人而言。當(dāng)然,這也是一門藝術(shù),需要去學(xué)習(xí)。
"…今天天氣如何?" 這樣的干澀的開場白很難引出有趣的對話 (但是,如果你很急切找到一個對話的切入點(diǎn),那不妨先將就著用這句話吧).如果你必須要把談?wù)撎鞖庾鳛殚_場,那,就盡量來點(diǎn)特殊的方式,比如說," 外面簡直冷的刺骨 呀 --你有聽過這么一句話嗎,'比______還冷'?這話到底是誰說的來著…?" 用這種方式,效果肯定會好的多,自然,這也取決于你是在和誰說話。
如何和陌生人很好的閑聊,這無論對外向的人,還是內(nèi)向的人,都不是件容易的事。以下是一些可以幫助你把聊天變得有趣的小貼士:
10個小貼士教你如何和陌生人聊天:
1.與時俱進(jìn),跟上時事:可以聊當(dāng)下發(fā)生的新聞、(流行的)運(yùn)動、社區(qū)或者政治 (政治話題要避免選擇很有爭議的內(nèi)容,那樣也許會引發(fā)太過激烈的辯論)
2.適度的贊揚(yáng)對方的衣服或者小裝飾品:可以問對方是哪兒買的,為什么買呀,多少錢(開個玩笑,這個可以不必問吧)之類的。你和不熟悉的人聊天,一定要善于觀察。
3.善于傾聽:在聊天時,要時刻表現(xiàn)出對對方話題的關(guān)注和興趣。舉個例子吧,如果對方說 "他們簡直太棒了",你就接著問"為什么?"或者問"到哪兒才能嘗試下這些很棒的東西……"如果對方說很累,同樣的就'累'這個話題發(fā)揮下去。請記住,成功的閑聊和建立好的關(guān)系其實(shí)很簡單,沒你想的那么遙不可及。
4.和對方分享你的經(jīng)歷:可以分享生活中的一些瑣碎小事,例如丟了鑰匙,撿到了10美金,又或者是最近發(fā)現(xiàn)一個很好的新餐館,或新CD之類的事情……
5.問對方近期看了什么電影或讀了什么書:我第一次被人問到類似的為題是在一個聚會上。我承認(rèn),當(dāng)聽到這個問題的瞬間,覺得對方很做作,可接下來關(guān)于書的話題卻讓我們倆都意猶未盡,十分開心。所以,閑聊,也需要嘗試更多新的話題。
6.一起聊聊電視劇吧:和對方分享你最喜歡的電視節(jié)目,無論是關(guān)于奧普拉脫口秀,抑或是你喜歡的情景喜劇。如果你是加拿大人,就聊聊《大草原上的小清真寺》(加拿大CBC臺最新喜劇)!談?wù)撘恍┝餍械奈幕彩羌容p松又有趣的話題。
7.聊聊以前你們聊過的事:問問對方的兒子是不是還病著?墨西哥假日是怎么過的?如果你的記性夠好,那么也可以讓聊天變得更簡單
8.問些開放性的問題:例如,"你好嗎?"就是一個閉合性問題,這個問題不可能讓對方有機(jī)會說更多的內(nèi)容。但是如果你將問題設(shè)置成開放型的就有效的多,如"你和___到底怎么了?"; "你(___可以是工作相關(guān),家庭問題,理財(cái)投資等等)處理的怎么樣了?記住,任何事情都可以成為潛在的話題。你甚至可以告訴對方你不太擅長與人閑聊,你也可以問問對方是怎么能做的這么好呢?
9.放松:享受聊天的過程,每個人都是很有趣的個體!如果你綜合以上的小貼士,并充滿興趣的與別人聊天,那么你離成功已經(jīng)不遠(yuǎn)了
10.順其自然:如果你們的對話感覺像是硬要把鋼琴推到山頂,那么也許是時候進(jìn)行新的話題,或者就稍微停一停,暫時什么都別說了。 畢竟你不可能和每個人都聊的那么順暢和開心