"It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so."
William Shakespeare
Some things are often deemed to be bad. Some things are often deemed to be good.
Here are three things that may sound bad but can actually be good for you. Three things that I have learned to make better use of or strengthen a bit since that would help me out. Think about them. Then add and subtract as you see useful for your life and situation right now while using your own common sense.
"事情本無好壞之分,關鍵在于你怎么想"--莎士比亞
有些事總是被認為是好的,而有些事總是被認為是壞的。有三件事聽起來很壞,卻能真正幫助你。好好地利用這三件事給我帶來了很多幫助。仔細想想,看看它們對你現在的處境是否有幫助。
1. Selfishness.
Selfishness is rarely seen as something positive. The word may fill your head with images of greedy and soulless Montgomery Burns-like people.
However, personal development is in a way pretty selfish. You are trying to make yourself and your life better. But the thing is that by focusing on helping yourself first you can become stronger and help others in a better way too.
If you just focus on other people and not on yourself then you risk burning out. Or people may take advantage of you as you set no limits or boundaries. You become the "nice guy/girl" who is always out there to help people but think little about yourself which in the long run can become pretty unhealthy.
And selfishness and helping others often go hand in hand anyway. I did for example improve my health and increased my energy levels last year. This also gave me the extra energy to work on an free ebook – that will, if everything goes as planned, be up on the blog very soon – besides writing the usual articles. So that is a win-win.
1.自私
自私很少被認為是好的品質。一提到這個詞,你腦海中可能就浮現出類似于Montgomery Burns那樣貪婪、無情的人。然而,個人提升在某種程度確實是一件很自私的事。你總是試圖讓你和你的生活更好些。事實上,通過優先關注自己的事不僅會讓你變得更強大,而且還可以更好的幫助別人。
如果你只關注別人的事,那你就有被"耗盡"的可能。因為你對事情沒有約束和限制,被人很可能會利用你。你成了"好好人",因為你總是在幫人忙這忙那,卻很少考慮你自己。長期來說,這樣是很不好的。
話又說回來,自私和幫助別人也并不矛盾。舉例來說,去年一年,我努力使自己更健康也更有精力了。這使我在除卻寫平常的一些文章外還有多余的精力去完成一本免費的電子書(若不錯意外,明年就可與大家見面了).所以這是雙贏。
2. Lazyness.
Being lazy isn't all that bad. Being lazy about stuff that is irrelevant or not that important will help you quite a bit to free up time and minimize unnecessary stress. Getting the most stuff done isn't the best option. Getting the most important things done will improve your life and world the most.
So, as I wrote a few weeks ago, set limits for checking inboxes, Twitter etc. Use your laziness and come up with ideas on how to make things as simple as you can in your daily life. Find the smartest path instead of thinking there is some reward for doing things in the most roundabout and complicated way.
This also makes it easier to really relax when you relax and work in focused way when you are working. Be smart and balance life and take advantage of laziness instead of making things into an unnecessarily big struggle.
2.懶惰
懶惰也并非都是壞事。對一些無關緊要的事懶惰會為你節省很多時間,減少不必要的壓力。做完最多的事并非是最好的選擇,做完最重要的事才是最佳選擇。它能最大限度地提升你的生活和你生活的世界。
所以,在幾個星期前我就建議,要對你每天查看郵箱或Twitter的次數做一個限制。在日常生活中,要利用你的懶惰來想一些點子,好讓有些事情盡可能簡單。找一種最聰明的方法解決問題,而不是想著如果繞一些彎子或用一些很復雜的方法會獲得獎勵。
這樣做可以讓你更容易在該放松的時候徹底放松,在該工作的時候專注工作。要生活地既聰明又平衡,盡量利用懶惰的優勢,不要做不必要的巨大努力。
3. Ruthlessness.
Adding a bit of ruthlessness has, in just the right amount, been very helpful for me. It allows me to cut out the unnecessary instead of wimping around and trying to everything to fit in somehow. If you have problems with putting a stop to something or making decisions then a little bit more ruthlessness may be what you need.
Because at some point you have to make harder decisions and cut out stuff you may not want to. Otherwise you won't be able to find the time and energy you need. This may mean to skip some social engagements or cutting down on the TV-shows you follow from 10 hours a week to 2 hours a week. Not always fun, but you have to be the boss of your life. You have to make the decisions and say no both to yourself and to others if necessary.
3.冷酷無情
多一點恰當的冷酷對我非常有幫助。它讓我剔除了一些不必要的事,而不是猶猶豫豫,并試著以某種方式適應它。如果你對停止做某些事或做某個決定感到困難,那么一點點的冷酷就是你所需要的。
到了某些時候,你必須做出一些對你來說更困難的決定或是放棄一些你不想放棄的事,因為否則你將無法騰出你所需要的時間和精力。這可能意味著,你將砍掉一些社會交際時間或是將每周花10小時看你所熱衷的TV秀減至每周2小時。這也許并不好過,但你是自己生活的主人。你必須做決定,如果需要,你要向自己或是別人說"不".