手機(jī)版
It's the middle of August. School is just around the corner.
Not for me, of course. I've been out of school so long I hardly remember ever going. But for millions of kids, reading and writing and 'rithmetic are soon to be part of daily life once again. Along with homework. That is, if kids do homework anymore.
There's a book out this week, Homework for Grown-Ups: Everything You Learned at School and Promptly Forgot. It's sort of a CliffsNotes on everything we once knew but no longer do.
There are chapters on English, math, history, science. There's even a quiz at the end of each chapter.
To be honest, I don't get it. One of the few good things about being an adult is that you don't have homework anymore.
I remember doing hours of it every night in high school - Latin translation alone took a couple of hours - and I really have little desire to return to the world of Caesar and Cicero. That's Kickero, by the way.
I also remember there were courses in high school that I knew I would never, ever, ever use once I finished the homework and grew up. Trigonometry was one. Chemistry was the other.
The day I walked out of both classes was the day I promptly forgot everything I had learned that year. I felt cleansed. Liberated. Free at last.
And some 40 years later, I have yet to use anything I was taught in those courses.
I'm sure the periodic table of elements still hangs on the wall of every science classroom in America, and I'm sure all those elements are still in their proper places. Good for them.
Just leave me out of it.
I went abroad as an exchange student just before the final exam in chemistry was given. My teacher confessed he thought my timing was perfect. So did I.
As for triangles, unless we're talking about love, I still have no interest in them whatsoever.
In all my years I have never once attended a cocktail party where the conversation turned to the Pythagorean theorem. Maybe I'm running in the wrong circles. Then again, maybe I'm running in the right circles.
The press material that came with this book says that using it will allow me to hold my "head high with pride" when I'm next asked to help with homework.
We have several kids in our neighborhood. They ask me to feed their fish, to give money to their fundraisers, to go to their lacrosse games and cheer them on. And I do.
But if the conversation ever turns to their homework, I always use the same three little words.
Ask your father.
已經(jīng)是八月中旬了，很快就要開(kāi)學(xué)了。
當(dāng)然，不是說(shuō)我。我已經(jīng)離開(kāi)學(xué)校很久了，甚至有些不記得自己曾經(jīng)上過(guò)學(xué)了。但是，對(duì)于數(shù)百萬(wàn)的孩子們來(lái)說(shuō)，讀書(shū)、寫(xiě)字和做算術(shù)將很快再次成為他們?nèi)粘Ｉ畹囊徊糠帧８_切地說(shuō)，假如孩子們還做作業(yè)的話。
這星期出了本書(shū)，名叫《成年人的家庭作業(yè)：學(xué)校里所學(xué)的一切與迅速的遺忘》。有點(diǎn)像克利夫筆記所說(shuō)：我們?cè)囊磺校缃裨俨荒苡浧稹?/p>
英語(yǔ)、數(shù)學(xué)、歷史、科學(xué)的章節(jié)我們都曾學(xué)過(guò)，甚至在每一章節(jié)最后還曾做過(guò)小測(cè)驗(yàn)。
老實(shí)說(shuō)，我是不懂。長(zhǎng)大成人的少量的幾個(gè)好處之一是，你再也不用做家庭作業(yè)了。
記得我曾經(jīng)連續(xù)幾小時(shí)忙著做家庭作業(yè)--高中時(shí)每晚必做--僅僅是拉丁語(yǔ)翻譯就要花兩三個(gè)小時(shí)--我真的沒(méi)什么興趣回到凱撒和西塞羅的世界里去。順便說(shuō)一下，那是Kickero（指西塞羅的英文）.
還記得，我上高中時(shí)就清楚，有些課程在我做完作業(yè)后，在我長(zhǎng)大成人后，將永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)用到一次。三角是一個(gè)，化學(xué)是另一個(gè)。
我走出那兩個(gè)課堂的那天，就是我迅速忘記那年我所學(xué)的一切的一天。我覺(jué)得干凈了，解放了，終于自由了。
四十多年后，我還是從未用過(guò)那些課程所教過(guò)的任何知識(shí)。
我肯定，化學(xué)元素周期表肯定還掛在美國(guó)每一間科學(xué)教室的墻上，我還確定，所有那些元素依舊在他們?cè)撛诘奈恢蒙稀＿@對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)挺好。
讓我遠(yuǎn)離他們吧。
化學(xué)期終測(cè)驗(yàn)之前，我作為一名交換學(xué)生去了國(guó)外，老師說(shuō)他覺(jué)得我時(shí)間拿捏得真準(zhǔn)。同感。
說(shuō)道三角，除了談及戀愛(ài)時(shí)外，我至今都無(wú)論如何無(wú)法對(duì)他們產(chǎn)生興趣。
活了這些年，我還從來(lái)沒(méi)有參加過(guò)一場(chǎng)討論勾股定理的雞尾酒會(huì)。也許我生活的圈子不對(duì)吧，不過(guò)，或許我生活的圈子是對(duì)的呢。
這本書(shū)上說(shuō)，有了它，下次再有人請(qǐng)我輔導(dǎo)家庭作業(yè)時(shí)，我就能夠"自豪地高昂著頭".
四鄰有幾個(gè)小孩子，他們請(qǐng)我?guī)退麄兾刽~(yú)，贊他們募捐，跟他們玩長(zhǎng)曲棍球游戲，逗他們開(kāi)心，我樂(lè)意。
不過(guò)一旦談話涉及他們的家庭作業(yè)，我總是用這三個(gè)字答復(fù)：?jiǎn)柲惆帧?/p>
