OK. Here are a few quick 'n dirty questions. Where exactly does your relationship stand? If you are ready to be brutally honest, ask yourself these five tough questions.
1. Do you look at other relationships and feel you have settled?
* This is the first big question you need to answer. Looking at other relationships and "wondering" or "longing" is not a good sign.
Why are you looking at other relationships?
Are you missing something is your relationship that you see in another one?
2. Do you really like and respect your partner?
* This is crucial; without respect there is no substance.
And what about "liking" your partner? Do you find him interesting, and when she talks, do you want to listen to her?
In order to like and respect anyone, you have to ask yourself. "If I was not involved with this person, and met him on the street, would I like him?"
3. Do you want the same good things for your partner that you want for yourself?
* This is real generosity of spirit.
Do you care as much for your partner's feelings as you do for you own?
4. Do you feel this is where you "belong"?
* "Belonging" is the same as being "home".
* It is being perfectly content where you are.
5. Ask yourself, if you could terminate the relationship without any inconvenience - financial or otherwise - would you?
* We instinctively know that we will never again have the status quo once we terminate this relationship.
Are you brave enough to leave?
嗯。這里有一些快速的且不太道德的問題。你們之間的關系處于何種地步呢?如果你做好準備,就誠實而無情地問自己這五個難辦的問題吧。
1. 看看其他情侶之間的關系,你覺得你們之間已經穩定下來了嗎?
* 這是你需要回答的首要問題。看看其他情侶之間的關系,如果你感到“彷徨”或“羨慕”,這都不是好的征兆。
* 你為什么會在看別人的關系呢?
* 你在別人的關系中看到了你們所缺少的東西了嗎?
2. 你真的喜歡并尊重你的伴侶嗎?
* 這一點至關重要。沒有尊重,一切就都是虛的。
* 再想想你“喜歡”你的伴侶嗎?你發現他有趣嗎?當她說話時,你喜歡傾聽嗎?
* 為了喜歡和尊重某人,你必須問你自己:“要是我跟這個人沒一點瓜葛,那么要是在街上遇見他,我會喜歡他嗎?”
3. 自己想要的東西,同樣也想讓你的伴侶得到嗎?
* 這是真正高尚之精神。
* 你在乎著你伴侶的感受,就如同在乎著你自己的感受一樣嗎?
4. 你覺得這就是你的“歸宿”嗎?
* “歸宿”就是“回家”。
* 你對你所處的地方完全滿意。
5. 捫心自問,如果你可以沒有一點困難(經濟上的或其他方面的)地結束這段關系,你會去結束它嗎?
* 我們本能地知道,一旦結束這段關系,就將永遠無法恢復了。
* 你有足夠的勇氣離開嗎?